Reflections on my pride in my work in music so far

This month I’m preparing to start my second and final year as a masters student in music composition.

I’ve worked hard for the past several years to carve a niche for myself in music.

I love to make new music. I listen to recordings I’ve made, often with the invaluable help of friends and mentors at school, and I feel like I’ve done good work. I’ve created something of value that I can really appreciate and feel proud to share. I’ve added a little bit of light to the world, illuminating its beauty.

Some of my favorite pieces are not my most recent, but I’m still writing good music. My wish is that I write more and more, and find more and more ways to get out into the world with my positive energy and love of beauty.

I'm incredibly grateful to everyone who has helped me and collaborated with me along the way, and continues to support me in my work. I’ve learned so much, gained so much. I hope you feel similarly. Thank you!

Lovin' Blues

Lovin' Blues

I will love you, my dear
'til the oceans run dry.
I will love you, my dear
'til all the oceans run dry.
You know I'll go on loving you,
so why you makin' me cry?


(9/11/2013)

Listening to Beethoven

Listening to Beethoven

A young man presses the keys,
lightly steps a brass pedal,
and movement changes minutes to sunbeams
thrumming, moving, dancing lightly
like air over a cool mountain brook.
Carillon bells peal prayers of grotto monks.
Little bells ripple on a lake.
The smallest bells press tiny feet in soft grasses,
sweet blond hair flowing after.
Pulses race between flower petals
as soaring scents pollinate the breeze
returning with the stars and planets,
caressing like spring rain
tickling green moss.

The lifted door of the piano mirrors open faces
gathered to hear his play.


(2/11/13 & 3/5/13)

Colors

Colors

Some beauties, sweet and fleet,
like the happy bird on the branch by the window,
you cannot catch them.
To cage is to kill them.
Some beauties you have to let go.

The colors of a song are so bright
and soft, my dazzled eyes cannot see what
only my heart can feel.
The muse of the poet is kindly cool.
Her visits are passing.

Some lovers, warm and dear,
like the singing bird on the tree by the fence,
you cannot keep them.
To catch is to hurt them.
Some lovers you need to let go.

The years of a life are so bright
and swift, my thoughts cannot catch what
barely memories can hold.
The love of a friend is a godly grace.
His visits are treasure.


(5/3/2012)

Missing

Missing

Suddenly alone, so all these images
Flood back, the
Memories of days gone,
People gone, things gone.
Hurt can enter a moment where things are absent, gone, perhaps lost.
An empty chair or side of the bed can open a wash of sadness.
Feeling sad, a life lived full of things and people can feel a little scary because nothing stays the same:
Life gets jumbled up with changes.
Feeling sad can lead to feeling better, feeling thankful,
Feeling alive,
Feeling loved and hopeful.


(12/20/2011)

Love's Swift Wheels

Love's Swift Wheels

Love's swift wheels rush you

safely to my arms tonight;

The darkened, cool roads smooth

your approach for my kisses.

Flee the tasks that kept you:

no more delay for us.

Your touch is all I seek to keep,

your body at my side.

Tender talk can wait for morning,

just give me warm embraces soon, for

There's no better use of wheels or words

Than to speed true loves to their loves.

(8/27/11 & 8/29/11)

Turning Over

Turning Over

How many hopes, wishes, loves

Have ended at the strike of a

Bullet or a bomb? Shall we

Turn over the whole surface of

The Earth for the graves

Yet to be claimed? Shall we

Bury our own lost selves now

In the debris of not caring,

Not understanding, not—?

A new way must be found.

Hopes and wishes cannot keep

Under the ground. Love cannot,

Must not look back.

(7/5/2011)

Only You

Only You

No moon,

Never dawn:

Skyless night

Alone with you.

(7/16/2011)

Sorry my blog has been so quiet the past couple of months. I've certainly been busy and this shows with my slower output. Poetry requires a lot of focus, and my focus has been elsewhere. But it's been good. I'm writing music, and enjoying the many loves in my life.

I will try to keep posting at least once per month and sometimes still share an older poem if I don't have a new one I want to post on here.

As for my music, I've been putting finishing touches on my first string quartet which I hope to get performed this fall at WOU. (Any string players out there interested in seeing my score and/or possibly playing on it with me, feel free to contact me!) I have the rondo movement on my youtube here, and am thinking of posting the third and possibly fourth movements on there as soon as I feel like they are "done."

Feel Again

Feel Again

Isn't it good, finally, to silence all our machinations
and feel again kinship with the trees and grasses
who know only of the treble susurrations of wind as it
pushes and sways their taut bodies,
of throaty-voiced seasonal geese who pass
and punctuate the broad chords of the ground's horizon?

Love is like a hushed morning;
a euphony of silence invites
whispers of a neglected heart.


(4/25/2011)

Springtime of Love (Song Demo)

I wrote this short song a couple of years ago and recently decided to record a demo version for you here.

Clocks

Clocks

On a day when all the clocks are wrong

and the soaking rain and rough wind gusts

will not be tamed,

our road is littered with tossed branches,

our travels push into choppy currents,

the roaring wind's music issues changes

as soft as the thunder's crack.

Then, as quickly, change is a bird song.

The trees present their pink hopes,

and sudden memory of love rushes in,

beautiful dreams.

(3/13 & 3/14/2011)

Cracks

Cracks

We are held upright by cracks in the sidewalk,
Steady-footed and balanced on uneven turf.
We find our way through dizzy heights and rough waters.
Life is a journey, so never stay put.

We are perfected by embracing our flaws,
And faultless admitting that we can be wrong.
Eternal, our lives are as we live for each day,
Truth, beauty, and love: know these and be strong.


(1/5/2011)

A Wish

A Wish

It's been a while since the last time I saw you.

It's been a while since our last time.

I miss you and wish I could hold you tonight.

It's been really much too long for me.

I want to tell you how much I want you.

I want to hear you say you miss me, too.

These are the sweet words I'm hopeful to hear.

I want to tell you just how much I care.

We might still never get this together.

We may be destined to stay far apart,

But I have a hope that I'll hold you again

And wish you a beautiful life.

(4/28/2010)

The Day

The Day

A shoebox of portraits, and

Heart full of the day:

It is better to let this

Hold what loves as it may,

For pain will come, and with

It fear, no matter, anyway.

So let the love inside,

However long it may stay.

(3/26/10)

Strangers No More

Strangers No More

Your daughter and

My daughter, they were

Strangers to one another.

They knew nothing

About the other, but

Now they find themselves friends.

This neighbor and

Another neighbor, they had

Doors locked on each other,

Always tried to

Ignore one another;

Now they let themselves in.

(1/16/2010)

Most poem ideas come to me late in the day, sometimes keeping me awake at night, insistent I must write them down before they will let me sleep. This one woke me up this morning. Any day I write a poem is automatically a good day.

First Kiss

First Kiss

I'm looking back now,

'Cause I'm here, alone again.

The show was pretty good.

Our way home, we're at the stop,

Talking, still so shy.

Just a while to wait,

Going home, we will part.

I tried to see your eyes

On a May night, so cool but dry,

By stars and bare streetlights.

I sat and stopped, then

You took my hand (unasked),

And searching eyes found mine.

So I look back now,

'Cause I'm so alone again.

I still remember that night.

Our way home, at the bus stop,

We talked, then, both so shy.

(12/23/2009)

With Me (2008)

With Me

It is, perhaps, too much

to ask someone to

hold onto my dreams

for me,

to hold my hand if I'm

afraid, or

love me any time I

need.

I wish, perhaps, too much

and wait for someone to

say just the right words

to me,

that make me always feel OK

with who and how I

am, and

mean when they say they

love me always,

forever.

When I am tired,

when I feel too

feeble with frustrations,

who sits with me and

shows they care?

I am OK.

I am that one, always,

for me.

(2/7/2008)

The Moment

The Moment

I remember a day (well,

really, lots of days) like this

Feeling I've got laundry in the dryer

And I'm lying on my bed in the next room

Listening to some music.

You'd rented us a condo

on the coast, and

Picked me up from work—

It was a sweet surprise gift,

I felt, for the both of us.

Cozy and nice, it was just we two

alone, away from all the rest:

Our own gentle world.

I think there's poetry in this,

the poetry of living in the moment,

With laundry in the dryer and

Us two lying on the bed in the next room,

Listening to some music.

(10/25/2009)

I love

I love

I love

looking up through the trees

how the leaves change the sky

while little impatiens grow by the porch

the kind breeze touches my bare skin

and old friends ask how I am.

I love

going out so I can come back

how the Saturday afternoon sun

makes angels of it all.

(8/22/2009)

Listen and Hum (2006)

Listen and Hum

What would I miss

(if I could)

after

I'm gone from this place?

Perhaps (others will

miss them in my place)

to listen and

hum along

with my favorite tunes

and my lover's presence

with me

drinking tea and

eating whatever is

for breakfast on the weekend.

(9/2006)