Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 9, 2021

I Love (poem)

I love

looking up through the trees

how the leaves change the sky

while little impatiens grow by the porch

the kind breeze touches my bare skin

and old friends ask how I am.


I love

going out so I can come back

how the Saturday afternoon sun

makes angels of it all.



(8/22/2009)

Monday, September 15, 2014

Reflections on my pride in my work in music so far

This month I’m preparing to start my second and final year as a masters student in music composition.

I’ve worked hard for the past several years to carve a niche for myself in music.

I love to make new music. I listen to recordings I’ve made, often with the invaluable help of friends and mentors at school, and I feel like I’ve done good work. I’ve created something of value that I can really appreciate and feel proud to share. I’ve added a little bit of light to the world, illuminating its beauty.

Some of my favorite pieces are not my most recent, but I’m still writing good music. My wish is that I write more and more, and find more and more ways to get out into the world with my positive energy and love of beauty.

I'm incredibly grateful to everyone who has helped me and collaborated with me along the way, and continues to support me in my work. I’ve learned so much, gained so much. I hope you feel similarly. Thank you!

Monday, May 27, 2013

"Virtual" choir that is actually a global social phenomenon

Contemporary choral composer Eric Whitacre has recently been collaborating with singers from all over the world through online social media to create what he calls "Virtual Choirs." When I first heard about this a year or two ago I was skeptical that someone could take recorded voices from so many people's computers and mix them together effectively to create "real" choral music.

Today I found that he's done a couple of talks with TED, and from watching them I came to realize the real point I was missing is not that they are creating "good music" with this digital voice mosaics, but that they are bringing together people from all over the globe, dozens of countries, political "enemies," people who will never meet in real life, and creating something beautiful together that is about the music – about what Boethius called musica humana – the harmony of human life and society.

The sound is pretty cool, but the idea is brilliant and beautiful.

Listen and watch Whitacre's TED Talk from 2011 here.
http://on.ted.com/Whitacre

Friday, May 18, 2012

Gentle Wind (2009) and Reflecting


Gentle Wind

Tiny spider, your bones appear so slight
that my barest breath near you comes
over you as a hurricane of terror.
The silk-taut line you tug and twist upon
is invisible to my eyes, merely a
suggestion of gossamer scaffold.

You may now cling so tightly, and I fear
you will fall instantly and be lost, or
my breath draws you so close and
you will grab my hair, burrow
down my skin, down my back, and be lost.
So we joust the air, my breath and you.

Your silent twitching music of a
one-cord harp bewitches my thoughts
in this momentary song of emotion:
I am suddenly in your place. I am
this little fellow, pendulous to life.
Dry tears touch my eyelids. I reflect.

The artist
blows upon the zephyr breeze of Being,
and hopes the coming rain
may not dissolve all.


(6/18/2009)


I wrote and first shared this poem in June of 2009. I remember somewhat the particular image I was exploring, an actual tiny spider perhaps two millimeters tall hanging from its silken line in front of me: so tiny and yet just "out there" in an immense and dangerous universe. I was sitting on the bus at the time I wrote it, playing with the words and ideas, but reflecting really on what it's like to be an artist, and what it's like for me to be a person who feels super vulnerable much of the time. Feeling sensitive, like my skin isn't even there, I sometimes feel like total raw nerve endings and viscera exposed to the world. All I can do, times like those, is hold on tight to something and hope some cruel reality doesn't all come crashing in.

And paradoxically, I really want to be "out there" in the immense universe, like the tiny spider. (Even though spiders creep many people out with their too many arms and legs and how they do tend to do weird things like bite you or try to get in your hair or crawl around your skin. I don't think I'm really like that, but I think ideas can feel that way, too! They also bite and make you feel uncomfortable.)

I appreciate the incredible blessing of knowing – and being reminded, when needed – there are other people in my life who understand at least some of what it can be like to be sensitive and/or artistic.


Thursday, May 3, 2012

Colors


Colors

Some beauties, sweet and fleet,
like the happy bird on the branch by the window,
you cannot catch them.
To cage is to kill them.
Some beauties you have to let go.

The colors of a song are so bright
and soft, my dazzled eyes cannot see what
only my heart can feel.
The muse of the poet is kindly cool.
Her visits are passing.

Some lovers, warm and dear,
like the singing bird on the tree by the fence,
you cannot keep them.
To catch is to hurt them.
Some lovers you need to let go.

The years of a life are so bright
and swift, my thoughts cannot catch what
barely memories can hold.
The love of a friend is a godly grace.
His visits are treasure.


(5/3/2012)

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Trilobite Song (1997)


Trilobite Song


Oh, to be a trilobite in some primordial goop —
A wriggly something wiggling in the three-tone frothy soup!
I have five eighty-thousand toes, a delightsome fearful lot,
And when I stick them in my mouth, I taste the meal I've caught.

Oh, to be a trilobite in long-forgotten seas.
I hunker down a darkened hole and flex my billion knees.
And though I never see the sun, so far I swim and swam,
I pass the night with planktonite, and dinner with a clam.

Oh, to be a three-lobed shellfish in the Paleozoic,
I eat enough creapy stuff to make a person go “ick!”
But I'm never sad or lazy — I just pass the time
Resting in my briny niche from evolution’s climb.

Oh, to be a trilobite, to don my sticky bonnet
Though, you say, it’s not that way — and I had never thought it.
But if you doubt what I'm about, you can keep your money.
I'll just smile and sweetly say, “It’s in the genes, Honey.”



(3/23/97)


It had been over a month since my last contribution on here, and since I resolved to blog at least once per month I dug up this older poem from around the time I started getting interested again in writing.

I don’t always explain or comment on my poems, but this one got me thinking recently about what it was really “about.” On the surface, it’s playful and poking fun at the debate over teaching evolution in the public schools. It occurred to me the other day that as a social commentary, I probably had in mind on some deeper level how dependent we are today (even back in 1997) on digital technology. What would we really do right now if we didn’t have computers to do so much for us, with their “eighty-thousand toes” to count on? Could we make it? Maybe finding meaning in life would be more a matter of bare essentials and not chasing down life between sips of sleep while the clocks and calendars and computers keeps us running. At least we still have family and friends on our digital docks. And DVD collections of all our favorite TV shows are kind of nice.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Haiku: Phone Me

Haiku

Business must be good:
Another phone book is here.
Call me; show you care.


(8/18/2011)

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Obsolescence

Obsolescence

As old things wear out, the new moves in.
Is it this way with us, or not?
Linens and towels go to rags, and
Are replaced in sets. What is the new color,
The latest print? If they're made well,
They should last a while.
Obsolesce or obsess, the gap must not endure.

Black on red or red on black, is a question
Of the background taken, but
What is always going, cannot be taken or kept.
It is the pursuit that endures:
Where does it end? The only final mark
Is change, when something is different now.
And now we must be going.


(12/30/2010)

Sunday, November 21, 2010

What Is

What Is

Our life is so much a make or break deal:

First we have what is Given,
A chance, a birth, mother, father,
Sister, brother, blood kin and people met.
A world is here where we wake each day
And find ourselves involved.

Then we have our own designs, of
Each moment a path, a care, a career,
We make something of time and trouble.
A life is lived, conducted, embraced,
Experience of what may be.

What is, what will become, is
Our dance of chance and choice.


(11/21/2010)

Sunday, May 16, 2010

A Wish

A Wish

It's been a while since the last time I saw you.
It's been a while since our last time.
I miss you and wish I could hold you tonight.
It's been really much too long for me.

I want to tell you how much I want you.
I want to hear you say you miss me, too.
These are the sweet words I'm hopeful to hear.
I want to tell you just how much I care.

We might still never get this together.
We may be destined to stay far apart,
But I have a hope that I'll hold you again
And wish you a beautiful life.


(4/28/2010)

Monday, April 12, 2010

April Rhapsody*

April Rhapsody

Can you feel the sun shining?
I feel it on my face,
So strong my eyes water.
I'd share it with you here.
Come closer. Let's feel its rays together.

I'd hide myself in the springtime grass,
Blades so sweet and long;
A bird walks close by me now.
I feel the sun on the flower tops.

I did everything in no-time today,
Flowers everywhere.
And sun and trees and grass.
Two poems before breakfast,
Another with my lunch.

The yawning sky greets
The sun's pillar of brightness;
Season-swept clouds paint the trees
And hills and house windows with laughing.


* From Greek "to stitch together song, to recite poetry"


(4/12/2010)

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Strangers No More

Strangers No More

Your daughter and
My daughter, they were
Strangers to one another.
They knew nothing
About the other, but
Now they find themselves friends.

This neighbor and
Another neighbor, they had
Doors locked on each other,
Always tried to
Ignore one another;
Now they let themselves in.


(1/16/2010)


Most poem ideas come to me late in the day, sometimes keeping me awake at night, insistent I must write them down before they will let me sleep. This one woke me up this morning. Any day I write a poem is automatically a good day.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

With Me (2008)

With Me

It is, perhaps, too much
to ask someone to
hold onto my dreams
for me,
to hold my hand if I'm
afraid, or
love me any time I
need.

I wish, perhaps, too much
and wait for someone to
say just the right words
to me,
that make me always feel OK
with who and how I
am, and
mean when they say they
love me always,
forever.

When I am tired,
when I feel too
feeble with frustrations,
who sits with me and
shows they care?

I am OK.
I am that one, always,
for me.


(2/7/2008)

Saturday, August 22, 2009

I love

I love

I love
looking up through the trees
how the leaves change the sky
while little impatiens grow by the porch
the kind breeze touches my bare skin
and old friends ask how I am.

I love
going out so I can come back
how the Saturday afternoon sun
makes angels of it all.


(8/22/2009)

Thursday, August 6, 2009

In Defense of Descartes' Malin Genie Hypothesis (1996)

In Defense of Descartes' Malin Genie[1] Hypothesis
by Chris Kaltwasser
(OSU Philosophy Department Matchette Award Winner, 1996)

Suppose one day you walk into a room and see flowers in a pot on the table. Are those flowers real? How can you tell? Suppose you take a closer look. You reach your hand out and pick up the pot. You feel the weight of it press down on your palm. As you bring the flowers closer you can smell their pleasant fragrance. Reaching out your other hand, you touch the petals. They feel soft and delicate. Setting the pot by the open window, you observe as a lazy bee alights on one and then another of the blossoms, busy collecting pollen. Do you know these are real flowers now? Might they not be a clever illusion, designed to fool you into thinking you are seeing, holding, smelling, and touching flowers? René Descartes proposed just such a problem in his Meditations on First Philosophy: We know our senses can be mistaken—perhaps this is always the case. O. K. Bouwsma, many years later, suggested this hypothesis was itself a case of trickery. He argued that flowers you can see, hold, smell, touch, and so forth could not be an illusion, but instead that reality is what we should call them. However, Bouwsma is the one who is playing tricks with the words "illusion" and "reality."

In his Meditations on First Philosophy, Descartes takes as his project to discover and defend a trustworthy basis for knowledge. For him, reality is the substance of existence and not mere perceptions or appearances to the senses. Two contradictory claims about reality cannot both be true. To have true knowledge means to have ideas which correspond accurately to reality. Knowing he has often been mistaken in his former beliefs, Descartes determines that he will systematically demolish his "house of knowledge," to find a solid foundation on which his knowledge can be built reliably. Believing that his mind will habitually fall into its old ways of error, Descartes determines that he will withhold assent from any of his former beliefs, as he employs a number of skeptical hypotheses to strip away all which is not manifestly true. He realizes that nothing which he formerly had believed is beyond reasonable doubt, because he finds that he has valid and well-considered grounds for doubt (Descartes, 4). By employing his method of doubt, he intends to discover some unshakable foundation for knowledge, something which he can know to be true without possibility of doubt.

Each of Descartes' skeptical hypotheses takes the form of a supposition that reality is in some way not as he has formerly believed, but instead some other reality accounts for his beliefs and perceptions. By a wave of three such hypotheses Descartes soon reduces his grasp of truth to mere elementary notions of extension, size, quantity, and number of things. He can doubt his beliefs of the external world, by supposing that all he senses of the world around him is pure fantasy, the product of his own dreaming mind independent of any reality, much as a painting might depict objects and creatures which never existed nor could exist in reality (Cottingham, 40-41). Then, as his ultimate hypothesis, by which he calls into doubt even these last elements of belief, Descartes supposes that his mind is deceived every time he contemplates even the simplest of ideas. When he adds two numbers, some mischievous agent insures that he produces the wrong sum without realizing his error. Not merely may he err, as he knows he sometimes does, but he is consistently deceived by the design of a malicious power:

I will suppose, then, not that there is a supremely good God who is the source of all truth, but that there is an evil demon, supremely powerful and cunning, who works as hard as he can to deceive me. I will say that sky, air, earth, color, shape, sound, and other external things are just dreamed illusions which the demon uses to ensnare my judgment. I will regard myself as not having hands, eyes, flesh, blood and senses—but as having the false belief that I have all these things (Descartes, 4-5).

Then, with a note of final triumph, Descartes handily smites his malin genie and establishes one truth which he asserts even this strongest of hypotheses cannot call into doubt: Descartes himself must exist, if he is deceived. As much deceptive power as he grants to this demon, Descartes cannot think himself to be nothing while he thinks that he is something (Descartes, 7). Armed with the unshakable knowledge that he exists as a thinking thing, Descartes proceeds with the rest of his Meditations to construct what he believes to be a framework for reliable knowledge.

We shall now briefly consider Descartes' theory of perception, of which the two central components are his concepts of causality and of ideas. Of the former, he holds that there must be as much reality in a cause as in an effect, and that the causal relation between things is a transfer of some formal or eminent reality from the cause to its effect. Hence, "it follows both that something cannot come from nothing and that what is more perfect—that is, has more reality in it—cannot come from what is less perfect or has less reality" (Descartes, 18). Of ideas, Descartes holds that ideas are modifications of thinking, which is the essential quality of his existence from which he cannot conceive himself to be separated. The view of perception that Descartes takes, then, is that there must be some archetypal reality which is the cause of all ideas. All ideas are like images of that formal reality from which they derive, and perceptions are representations of real things either from the mind itself or from things outside of the mind (Descartes, 19).

The validity of Descartes' arguments for a foundation of knowledge depends very significantly on the coherency of his skeptical hypotheses. By them he has toppled both his senses and his imagination as reliable means for attaining knowledge of reality, and builds instead on nothing but reasoning from his own existence and thought. If the illusions of the evil demon do not call all but his existence as a thinking thing into doubt, as Descartes claims, then his arguments are effectively crippled. If his supposition about the evil demon does violence to reason in some way, the consequence is that he has doubted what cannot reasonably be doubted and laid the foundations for knowledge far "below" where they ought to lie.

In his essay, "Descartes' Evil Genius," O. K. Bouwsma argues that Descartes' last hypothesis has in fact done violence to the concepts of illusion and reality. He submits the hypothesis to a trial by proposing two adventures for Descartes' evil demon. By the first of these exercises, Bouwsma proposes to show an ordinary illusion. It is one which can even be detected by the careful attention of one of the demon's victims. In his second exercise, Bouwsma proposes to reproduce exactly the scenario Descartes describes at the end of his first Meditation, and this, Bouwsma argues, is no illusion at all.

For the first adventure, Bouwsma supposes the evil demon is in the mood to exercise only some of his unlimited powers to deceive. He will construct a malicious deception, changing everything in the world to paper. Flowers, trees, sky, sun, and even human beings will be nothing but paper, carefully crafted to fool the unwary eye. This is the illusion Bouwsma proposes: that everything will appear very like normal, but in fact everything (except paper itself) will be changed. Bouwsma then supposes there is a young man named Tom who sees through the illusion. The flowers on the table are really paper. The young woman, Milly, is paper. The window, trees, houses, sky, sun, clouds, rain, and Tom himself are all paper. Tom experiences the illusion, but is not deceived because he knows the difference between paper and these other things, despite the fact that the paper illusions are carefully designed to fool him. An illusion, according to Bouwsma, is something that seems like something it is not. The given illusion is that the world is as we take it to be: flowers, trees, people, and paper, all distinct and real. The reality is that there is nothing but paper (Bouwsma, 30).

Ever cunning and malicious, the evil demon is not satisfied with his first attempt at deception. In what will be his second adventure, Bouwsma supposes that the evil demon now undertakes the project of constructing a world of illusions by which poor Tom will be thoroughly deceived. When Tom thinks he senses a thing, he will in fact be deceived, because there will be no such thing. To this end, first the demon must do away with all that is real in the world except for Tom himself, to which he restores his former life. Now the demon arranges things so that Tom believes everything is as it was before, that what seems to him solid and real is as it was before, just as solid and real. All this Tom believes, but all in fact are the products of the demon's deception.

Bouwsma now examines the illusion world created by the demon, and concludes that it is in fact reality, not illusion, which the demon has reproduced. The demon desires recognition for his cunning deception, and so decides to enter into Tom's perceptions and plant the seeds of doubt. Instead, Tom shows the demon that he has failed to deceive. The demon enters into Tom's experience, sharing with him the senses of seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, and feeling. Nothing is missing. The flowers are still as pretty to see, as delicate to touch, as sweet to smell. Tom can gather their pollen, send them to Milly, or do anything else one could normally do with flowers. It seems that the demon has not done away with flowers or Milly or Tom's body, but only with what it was the demon could sense of these things beyond human sight, hearing, touch, smell, or taste. Tom is not taken in by the demon's deceptions. To Tom, everything is as it was before. The flowers are still flowers, the sky is still sky, and Milly is still Milly.

How is this so? According to Bouwsma, Tom is a clever lad. The demon may say that the flowers are not real, that he has in fact destroyed all flowers, but there they are in front of Tom, as real as they ever were. They are real and not illusions, Bouwsma claims, because they do not differ from real flowers as far as Tom is concerned. Sight, smell, and touch all verify the existence of these flowers, so for Tom, what the demon is insisting are mere illusion are in fact what a human being would call reality without a second thought. The demon may be able to reach out with some extra sense and miss the presence of the flowers, but no human being could do this. So, the demon has in effect constructed his own illusion. The flowers and Milly and everything else are still present and real to Tom. It is only the demon who has removed what it was he sensed of the flowers and Milly and the rest beyond the senses available to a human being, and is left with a world of illusions.

But there seems to be a trap in Bouwsma's argument. What about Milly? Poor Milly has no life. She has no awareness and no senses. She has no existence. We have granted this demon unlimited power to do and to deceive, and he has done this terrible deed: he has killed Milly and replaced her with an illusion. The demon, even in his perverse desire for recognition, never thinks to tell Tom this fact, but only uses the flowers as an illustration of the deception. There is no Milly, just as there are no flowers. If Tom speaks to Milly, or touches her hair, or kisses her, she will not subjectively hear or feel or give that kiss in return. Tom is alive, but Milly is dead. Tom can sense everything he could before, including the flowers and Milly, but he is deceived if he thinks they exist in reality. All that exists in the world is Tom, Tom's perceptions, and the evil demon, and though the demon has insured that Tom's perceptions lack nothing they formerly contained, they clearly are illusions.

An illusion is something falsely believed to exist, or, it is a false belief about reality. Reality is what exists in the world. When Bouwsma argues that the paper world of the evil demon's first adventure is an illusion, he is correct. The paper flowers and people and sky are imitations designed to fool. Those who mistake the paper imitations for the things themselves are taken in by the illusion. When Tom discovers the truth, that there is nothing but paper in place of these things, there is no more illusion for him. When Bouwsma argues that the dream world of the second adventure is reality, he is mistaken. What Tom perceives may seem real to him, but they lack real existence. How, then, does this concept of reality differ from Bouwsma's?

When I see flowers in a pot, I suppose that there is something in those flowers which I call life. This life is what makes the flowers grow, and when that life is disrupted, the flowers wither and die. I can see the flowers, smell them, collect the pollen or send them to a friend, but if I suppose sight and odor and arrangement is all flowers are, I am thinking about something less than the flowers themselves. Flowers are more than just my collected perceptions of them.

Similarly, when I see my friend sitting across the room, I suppose that he is a real person who has life and senses and awareness. I believe that his life and senses and awareness are similar to mine. If I speak his name, he hears me and knows I have addressed him. If I give him the flowers, he subjectively sees, feels, smells, and enjoys them just as I do. If I recite a line of verse, he hears the words and remembers that what I am quoting is The Tempest. My friend, like the flowers, is more than just my collected perceptions of him.

In the case of both the flowers and my friend, I am supposing there exists something of which I have no immediate experience. In fact, I seem to be basing my knowledge of both the flowers and my friend not on some sensory impression immediately present to my mind for experience and reflection, but on the combination of all of my sensory perceptions, as well as my reasoning and my expectation that my perceptions are consistent with reality. That is, I trust that what I perceive through the combination of sight and hearing and the other senses is a true impression on my mind of some real thing outside of my mind. I seem to assume the representational theory of perception as Descartes does, supposing that my ideas are of something outside of my mind, and that unless my senses and reasoning are deceived, my perceptions are reflections of some objective reality beyond them. There are physical flowers in the pot, and there is another thinking, feeling person sitting in that chair.

What I mean by the words "flowers" or "person" or "sky" is not just my perceptions of these things, whether colorful or firm or bright, and I would argue this meaning is the common one. What is meant is the thing itself, which, if it possesses senses and awareness can likewise perceive the things around it. The distinction becomes transparent when the object of our speaking is another person. Perhaps the flowers can be said to have no objective reality, and their existence independent of my perceptions is something essentially unreal to me. Presumably they do not have feeling or experience. But, to say that my friend would have no objective reality is to likewise eliminate his own subjective reality. So, when Bouwsma argues that the word "flowers" applies to the perceptions of flowers, he is perhaps not taking any great liberty. When he argues that the name "Milly" applies only to Tom's perceptions of that person, he is surely mistaken. When I say "flowers" I may not draw a sharp distinction between my perceptions of flowers and objects outside of my mind, but if I say "friend" I most definitely mean a person who has ideas, subjective experiences, and perceptions just as I do.

In contrast to my view, which I take to be very like Descartes', Bouwsma's theory of perception might be characterized in terms of positivism[2]. That is, he considers only what can be conceived to be contingent on some set of criteria, and shown to be true by those criteria. In this view, what is true is what can be demonstrated to be so, and whatever cannot possibly be demonstrated is meaningless. So, to speak of objective existences which I cannot possibly know of by direct experience or by some other means is futile in such a view. I do not have experience of what I call "real flowers," and therefore I am speaking of what I know nothing about and can know nothing about, because I cannot directly demonstrate the existence I describe.

What then might Bouwsma say about poor Milly, who I have claimed he has abandoned to nonexistence? In his second illustration, he argues that Milly is present and has been reproduced in the "illusion" in her full reality. At least, so far as Tom seems to care, she is fully as real as ever. Briefly, the theory of behaviorism considers mind in terms of behavior, identifying mental phenomena with the activity of some material. Such a view seems to fit Bouwsma's argument well, for if we suppose that we know Milly only in terms of how she acts, the things she says, and so forth, then she is fully present and real for us if we have the full sensory appearances of her outward behavior. After all, we would hardly concern ourselves with the inner working of a person's nervous system when we say that person is happy or is feeling pain, just as we would never conjure images of chemical structures when we say a flower has a pleasant odor. Yet I do not think that when Tom sees Milly, talks to her, or gives her flowers, that this subjective reality of Milly in his mind thereby reproduces the subjective experiences of Milly herself. The notion is in fact totally inconsistent withwhat is meant by "subjective experience."

So, one might argue that all we can possibly have knowledge of is our perceptions of things, and this is a difficulty which Descartes faces in relation to his representational theory of perception. However, it is what I or any other speaker of the word "flowers" believes which is very much at issue in this matter. When I say "flowers" I probably mean what I judge to be the reality causing my sensations. When I say "friend" I definitely mean what I judge to be another person with whom I have an amicable relationship. If there is no such reality or no such person, I am quite fooled by an illusion, for this is what is meant by the word "illusion": a mistaken belief about reality.

Hence, I have shown that it is Bouwsma who has in fact done violence to the common concepts of "illusion" and "reality" in his critique of Descartes' evil demon hypothesis. When we speak of reality, we speak of more than mere appearances. Consequently, when Descartes supposes an evil demon has the power to cause him to see, hear, smell, taste, and feel all the things he presently does, and that in fact the demon is deceiving him by this means, this is a coherent hypothesis. If such a demon had such power and were using it in this way, the illusions he employed would truly be illusions, and Descartes truly would be quite deceived. So, apparently, is the philosopher who thinks that when we speak of "reality" all we mean is our perceptions.

Works Cited

Bouwsma, O. K. "Descartes' Evil Genius." Ed. Alexander Sesonske and Noel Fleming, Meta-Meditations: Studies in Descartes. Belmont, California: Wadsworth Publishing Company, Inc., 1965.

Cottingham, John. The Rationalists. New York: Oxford University Press, 1988.

Descartes, René. Meditations on First Philosophy. Trans. Ronald Rubin. 2nd ed. Claremont, California: Areté Press, 1986.

Malcolm, Norman. Problems of Mind: Descartes to Wittgenstein. New York: Harper & Row, 1971.

Notes

[1] malin genie
French, "evil genius." Descartes supposes that he is under the influence of a powerful and intelligent being that is capable of deceiving him at every instant." I will suppose, then, not that there is a supremely good God who is the source of all truth, but that there is an evil demon, supremely powerful and cunning, who works as hard as he can to deceive me."(Descartes, 4)

[2] positivism (logical)
Logical positivism, also known as logical empiricism, is a philosophical position which holds that there are only two sources of knowledge, logical reasoning and empirical experience, and that any statement of fact (e.g., "the grass is green") is only valid if it can be tested against empirical observation. Hence, logical positivism rules out any metaphysical hypotheses (synthetic a priori knowledge) or any inductive reasoning (analytic a posteriori knowledge). For a fuller discussion of this topic, see the Wikipedia article on logical positivism and the Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy article on behaviorism.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Older poem: "rain song"

rain song


a faint mur-mur over the othervoice rooms,
trickle driz tric murr
soft song of a nother-world
a world of trickle-drizzle sounds
a world far from drylit place

look through clear-glass shield confirms
trickle driz tric murr
coming down with steadybeat wurrs
softandwet beads up where smooth
few dare go past safeguard doors

look at sky – not much to see
trickle driz tric murr
an ocean of grays above me
patting on the tiles – driz purr
sing until the morning sun come


(3/15/1988)

I wrote this poem for my literature class in the 8th grade. I'd dabbled in poetry starting in the 7th grade, and I was very impressed with a few poets we were reading, like Emily Dickinson, e. e. cummings, and Robert Frost.

I can see some features in this poem that make it like a song, and relate to my style as an artist: parallel, almost strophic structure with a refrain tying the three stanzas together and creating a distinct rhythm; occasional use of rhyme, but not following a strict rhyme scheme; playful running together of words to create image-phrase neologisms ("othervoice", "nother-world", "drylit", etc.). It would be interesting to try to set to music.

To me this poem doesn't relate a lot of meaningful feeling or reflection, just some images and sounds of rain and being inside on a rainy night. I think if it is very significant to me at all now it is mainly because my teachers liked it quite a bit, and I felt very self-conscious to stand out like that. I saw myself as an artist, a poet, but felt very sad at the time because that was not really an identity I felt comfortable in. I really did not want to stand out. I wanted to fit in with my age peers and have lots of friends. Needless to say, adolescence is a challenging time. In my case, I remember how I struggled with a crisis of identity mainly centered on who was I going to try to please, my parents and teachers, or my peers. (At the time it did not occur at all that I could follow my own inner voice.) Just for personal interest, I continued to write an occasional poem through high school, but by about the 11th grade had mostly stopped my creative writing. Some time after college, when I was thrown upon the reality of not caring about the kind of work I'd set myself up for, I started exploring my creative interests again.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Two Minus One


Two Minus One

I lived by myself in a big house with
many rooms. I'd choose each night which
big bed to sleep in, and I spent
much time in my kitchen.

Friends and neighbors came to visit, and
we had Christmas in my front room with
a big green tree, all the gifts, and
stockings by the fire.

I stirred in my slumbers, then,
and as I woke the dream veil parted:
I saw how this could soon be my life,
is my life now, and felt a comfort.

In my house I have many rooms. Some
I choose to spend my time in, while
others I leave aside with the door open,
as I may need them later.

In my dream it was only me in this
big house. In my dream I could wander
as I may, exploring, finding the space
I needed in order to be myself.

And as each night I found a new bed,
pulled up fresh covers and opened up
the window to the night air,
I was not lonely in my house.


(6/4/2009)

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Victim

The Victim


To know pain, live pain, cling to pain,
what then is
given back to others?

To know joy, live joy, cling to joy,
how might that
turn around better?


(5/19/2009)

Friday, April 17, 2009

Divertimento

Divertimento 



In a night full of stars, 

Feel the cooling breeze of spring 

On a street with no cars, 

Somewhere with you. 


Setting sun on an island 

Of solitary ocean's calm, 

Lie naked on a bed 

Somewhere with you. 


You feel so familiar, 

I've known you all my life. 

Restless dreaming music wakes me. 


Like an Italian monk's pen, 

With letters expressing: 

Life's flowing and art again 

Somewhere with you. 



(4/17/2009)

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Still Here

Still Here


I didn't know what I needed
from you until you weren't here.
You'd welcomed me, helped me out,
to feel a part of this place.
I would see you here, greet, smile,
again many times.
Sometimes you were away but
I still felt you.

I asked today where you are –
– and, oh.
I find myself still here
but changed for a lack:

(I am one left behind.)


(3/18/2009)