Listening to Beethoven

Listening to Beethoven

A young man presses the keys,
lightly steps a brass pedal,
and movement changes minutes to sunbeams
thrumming, moving, dancing lightly
like air over a cool mountain brook.
Carillon bells peal prayers of grotto monks.
Little bells ripple on a lake.
The smallest bells press tiny feet in soft grasses,
sweet blond hair flowing after.
Pulses race between flower petals
as soaring scents pollinate the breeze
returning with the stars and planets,
caressing like spring rain
tickling green moss.

The lifted door of the piano mirrors open faces
gathered to hear his play.


(2/11/13 & 3/5/13)

My Summer Wheels

My Summer Wheels

My wheels lap up so many miles of solid highway

Like a cool, clean draught on this dry summer day.

Today they drink their fill. (May the cold rains return.)

Slippery silver-blue mirages pave the way in front.

Who lives on Yager Lane? Who lives on Lake Road?

Granges, wine cellars, farm-cow fields greet my progress.

Do they think to slow my haste from where I am to where I am not?

Changing life envelops me anyway.

Now I crest another hill; an elk of leafy branches

Lies in surprise on the narrow curves, but only the wind bends me.

Soon, steady tree limbs signal a quiet reflective moment

To let labyrinthine cares coil behind.

The road is purple where I'm going, and streaking gold with sun's rays.

Here, where the road lies open and plain,

I stop for a poem's breath, and sing to the trees and flowers below!

(8/24/2010)

Walking (2008)

Walking

Rough twigs and sharp rocks poke my

feet as they walk. "Why can't the whole

path be clear and cool with soft sand

and fresh grass?" I ask. The sadness

in my heart echos fear and danger of

losing my way. A single daisy faces blue sky.

I want to run.

(8/5/2008)

Contentment (2001)

Contentment

Contentment curls up on the rug by the fire.

Wind doesn't chill,

Rain doesn't soak, and

Worries don't dance with the shadows on the wall.

The unread book lies open on page one;

Leaves are uncreased,

Buds are un-pressed, and

The words of tomorrow are waiting to be told.

(4/19/2001)

4 a.m. Anxieties / Don't Ask

4 a.m. Anxieties

Bombing Iraq in our dreams

we may ask:

How many Xbox sales is a

dead child worth?

(12/22/2005)

Petition Against Gays Serving in the Military-Industrial-Congressional Complex

Snowboarding!

(Yes, it is the height of summer, but...)

One of the most fun things I've ever done is snowboarding! I started learning to ride back in February 2006 and have ridden quite a few times during the past few seasons here in Oregon.

Click here to see some of my snowboarding trip photos on flickr.

My favorite place to ride is Willamette Pass on highway 58, because it is pretty close to home, the conditions and runs are pretty good, and the scenery is amazing. There are beautiful views of lakes, wilderness, and other peaks in the Cascade Mountains. I've also visited Mt. Bachelor near Bend a couple of times and had fun there as well.

Riding my board down a fast run feels almost like flying. It is a very freeing and confidence-building experience for me. I have a similar interest in skateboarding, and recently started riding a longboard. It's not quite as thrilling for me as snowboarding, but it's a very cool way to get around, and the feel of carving a longboard can be similar to connecting turns in snow on a gentle slope. (I've yet to dare going very fast on concrete. The street is a little less forgiving than snow!)

Alone (written Dec. 5, 2005)

Alone

I am the man who

smiles

while his tears fall,

articulations

my foot taps, dancing

to the music

the beat of my spine

I keep you at a distance

so I can know you, face

to face

Alone, I am with you,

(I love you)

time burns and I am the ashes.

(12/5/2005)

One of my many restless nights in late 2005, I wrote this. Perhaps I'd had a fight with my partner. Perhaps I was just feeling keyed up and was thinking about my life and relationship with him. I know I was working through complex, seemingly contradictory and irreconcilable feelings (antinomy), undeniable life processes, fear of being hurt and causing hurt. I can still feel the experience very closely.

Somewhat ungrammatical and a bit asymmetrical, I probably scratched this out in the dark on the notebook I used to keep beside my bed for my journal. I see the central theme as very hopeful and life-affirming, even through the fear and pain. The last image is like a phoenix, recognizing that we are always constantly being reborn in each instant, a new (existential) self faced by totally new and novel choices: but only if we recognize that power within, the fire that burns. This is inexorable, a fire that doesn't go out but continues. It is passion and creativity, eros/searching out, constant living on the edge, living in the shadow of death. The present self is always already passing away.

I probably was feeling lonely, too, or afraid of being abandoned. My answer: I don't give up. I must not abandon myself.

Would I Know (song)

I wrote this as a poem a few years ago, and more recently adapted it into a song. Sorry I don't have a good demo to share... yet? ;-) Still maybe a work in progress, but here it is:

Would I Know?

I walk down roads as the sun is setting.

They seem familiar - can I find my way home?

I am dreaming as I am waking.

Am I lost? How would I know?

I both believe and don't believe;

I place my faith in the path ahead.

The truth is I feel so naïve.

Am I lost, or am I still in bed?

My life is like a journey, and I left my bags at home.

Now I've started, there's no turning back.

The truth I hold is merely rightness.

I do my best from day to day:

I live my life in dark and brightness.

Am I lost? How could I say?

My life is like a journey, and I left my bags at home.

Now I've started, there's no turning back.

I walk down roads as the sun is setting.

They seem familiar - can I find my way home?

I am dreaming as I am waking.

Am I lost? How would I know?

--

I actually often used to have dreams where I found myself wandering around the streets as the sun was starting to set, and I tried to find my way home but I kept getting lost or feeling like I couldn't get there. I decided to write about the dream and came up with this. The image of feeling lost in my life and needing to have faith in the process makes a lot of sense to me. Am I lost? I choose to say that I'm on the right track. It just may not look that way sometimes.

Stuff

Get everything you wanted this Christmas? How about more time to spend with your friends and loved ones? Better relationships? More time for your hobbies?

Or did you just get more stuff?

Could it be time for a new take on the American Dream? How about a society where our values are honored and lived out: family, community, fairness, connected functional neighborhoods, environmental health and safety? This New Years I think we should be reflecting on what really matters to us and whether our daily choices are supporting our personal values. Or will you just turn on the TV again and turn off your freedom?