Contentment (2001)

Contentment

Contentment curls up on the rug by the fire.
Wind doesn't chill,
Rain doesn't soak, and
Worries don't dance with the shadows on the wall.

The unread book lies open on page one;
Leaves are uncreased,
Buds are un-pressed, and
The words of tomorrow are waiting to be told.


(4/19/2001)


I wish all cold winter evenings could fit the positive and optimistic image of this poem. This is an older one of mine as you can tell by the date. I started writing the dates on my poems at some point because, even if they are not published, I am curious about the sequence and the time of year. What was going on in my life when I wrote this? So the date is mainly for my own sense of personal history.

Not too long ago I submitted a small set of haiku to a local literary art journal but it was not accepted. I felt disappointed and a little surprised, but then felt amused when I saw the publication in print. I decided my work didn't really fit with what they'd printed. I suppose the meaning for me in this kind of experience – putting myself and my work out there for others to see and judge – is that I write poetry, music, etc. as I like it to be. I write to please my own sense of artistry. I then put my work out there because I don't want to be selfish and alone, because I genuinely want to share what I create with others, and because you just have to do work out in the public view to be an artist. But if someone doesn't like what I write, or it doesn't fit what someone is looking for, that should not be a problem. I will just keep on writing because it works for me. Even if someone were paying me to write or create something for them, I would still want that work to come from my voice and reflect my sense of what is good. I know when I've done a good job, and it's not when someone else says. This can create a sense of conflict, and I tend to feel timid and cautious about putting myself out in the world, but I know the real reason I create is not to please others but because creating pleases me and I need to be doing it.

In hindsight about this one case, I feel like maybe I could have "sold" my work better, too. But I'm still fine with it not making the "cut" because I know it wasn't because the work I'd done was not worthwhile.